wow... it's been too long since i've updated.. i almost gave up on this and moved onto myspace and the greater beyond... but... no... i have not sold out just yet...
so what is the one word to sum up my last erm... 9 months i have been MIA from this crazyness? well... the word would be: *dramatic pause* recovery... no... not quite... growth... hmm not even that... survival... yes...
ladies and gentlemen... i survived, i grew, i picked myself up and moved to a new chapter in my life...
current status: i'm happy.
current activities: hanging out with my fave people and preparing for summer school
current worry: i need to find a summer job!
any regrets: yes...unfortunately yes i have a few during this past few months
any successful moments: yes... i have successfully surrounded myself with those i love and those who love me back
any hopes and dreams: that i will be at peace with my past so that i can happily embrace my future
hmm... that's the funny thing... the past... the past molds you to the person you are now... however, the past is also the roadblock that's always holding some part of you back... it's an element in your life that both hinders you and kindles your growth...
someone recently told me that i need to keep my past, my hurt, in my heart... keep it there and only there... because that's where your safebox for memories lie... however, never take my past out of it's safe keepings and alternate its location between my heart and my mind... cuz if i do that, then it'll just keep me from growing stronger and moving forward because i'll just constantly dwell and stress over it...(does that make sense? i promise he said it a lot more eloquently then how i just put it)...
see the problem i have with this word of advice from him is that (1) it's easier said then done... embrace the past, tuck it away, and move on without ever thinking about it again... if the past was that painful, that momentous, then how can you possibly dismiss it so easily? (2) if you dismiss your past so easily, will you ever be fully healed of it? ... i feel like you need to tackle your problems head on, your heartbreak, your struggles, fix it/attack it, and then move on when you are really at peace...
hmm... i just realized why i stopped writing in xanga in the first place... all i do is bitch when i'm writing in this... oh well... i'll just consider it my very own private journal....
o0o0o by the way... megan mccafferty just came out with her 3rd novel in the series of the ever so hilarious Jessica Darling...
1: Sloppy Firsts 2. Second Helpings 3. Charmed Thirds
i totally recommend these for summer readings... however, the first two are placed in high school and the third is in college... i was fortunate enough to read each while i was in that same age frame... well anywhoo...
brilliant then... i shall go now... peace out | 
